


No Right

by Miss_TC_Nova



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27466117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_TC_Nova/pseuds/Miss_TC_Nova
Summary: Xehanort attempts to leave and realizes Eraqus’s hidden message.
Relationships: Eraqus/Xehanort (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	No Right

_“See you soon buddy. We’ll all be waiting for you.”_

The curious words replay in Xehanort’s head as he takes the first steps of his new journey. Surely Eraqus doesn’t know what awaits the seeker in the future—he can’t know the path that’s been laid before his friend. Yet his final goodbye holds an ominous knowing that Xehanort can’t seem to shake.

It’s been a while since their friends met such terrible fates and were taken away. Despite Eraqus’s insistence, Xehanort harbors feelings of responsibility for what happened. Barely a moment was spent apart after that as a result, having only each other to rely on. There’s no doubt that the two are close—sometimes, it’s unclear how close. There’s no denying the airy feeling Xehanort gets seeing Fleetfoot smile, even while napping. Just being in close proximity gives the silver-haired boy a sense of peace he can’t recreate alone. Simply put, everything is better with Eraqus around. That makes reminding himself that their paths will soon lead in very different directions a bitter notion.

Ever since Xehanort announced his journey before the Mark of Mastery, Eraqus hasn’t quite been his sunshine self. He’s still trying be who he was, but the gloom can be felt seeping off him when he thinks his classmate isn’t looking. He’s probably just worried about his friend, but there’s so much he doesn’t know—this is something Xehanort has to do.

Nevertheless, attempts were made to poke holes in Xehanort’s plans.

_“You don’t have to leave.”_

_“You’ve already seen what’s out there.”_

_“What are you looking for?”_

False answers were given to Eraqus while the boy kept the real answers for himself. Still, the way his classmate spoke and his final warning continue nagging at the back of his mind. 

_You’ll be waiting for me? With who?_ _Master Odin? No…_

The scene plays again. They stand before the graves of their friends. Eraqus shows no sign of his bright self, no light in his eyes, and the smile on his lips is dead. It’s a dreary thing—parting with friends.

_“See you soon buddy. We’ll all be waiting for you.”_ There it is: at that moment, Eraqus had turned his gaze on the tombstones.

Understanding shakes his core. Not another thought is wasted before Xehanort’s feet rush him back towards the cemetery. Droplets impede his vision but do nothing to persuade him to slow down; there can be no hesitation—not for a single second.

_No no no! Don’t be that kind of fool!_

The freezing air fueling his flight stings at his lungs. Panic tightens its grip in his throat, threatening to close off his airways. If Eraqus is gone—well, Xehanort doesn’t want to think what kind of person he’ll turn into.

In a blinding flash, lightning strikes a lamppost barely meters ahead, halting the mad dash. Not wanting to waste time, Xehanort ignores the freak incident and prepares to bolt again. Then something catches his eye. There’s no saying for sure, but the rain falls so perfectly it looks like a group of people standing before him—some very familiar people.

_Why are you in the way?!_

Movement off to the side earns a quick glance and then a double-take. Ambling along the road to the docks is Eraqus, and the large stone in his arms does not bode well. A concoction of hope and terror spur Xehanort off his original path.

The gap between them is closing but the boy with black hair gets ever close to the edge. Xehanort’s lungs are screaming to stop but Eraqus is just one step away from the water—there’s still too much space between them.

“ERAQUS!” The anchor hits the water at the same time the name rings out. Granite eyes flash to Xehanort filled with horror. Fingers snag the hem of Eraqus’s sleeve but the boy in black isn’t prepared for the weight of the rock at all. A face full of icy water takes him by surprise, nearly causing his grip to falter; only sheer refusal lets him hang on.

The pair falls through the sea like the sky—the waters of Scala are deeper than anyone imagined. It’s a fathomless depth; they could be sinking for eternity. An entire world’s weight presses on Xehanort’s chest, coaxing his lungs to spasm. Common sense fights the urge while the boy in white watches with pleading terror.

Natural instincts gets the better of Xehanort and the ocean invades his body—ending the struggle to save the person most important to him. White fabric slips from his hand and he can only watch Eraqus slip farther away while his body writhes for air. Dark water grows darker, thrashing becomes too much effort, and Xehanort slips away in regret.

~~~~~

It’s bad enough that Eraqus had been found out, but when he ends up dragging Xehanort into the water with him, he’s mortified. With all his heart, he prays for his friend to let go but, with a look of absolute determination, Xehanort holds on.

There is no relief when Xehanort finally does lose his grip: he’s clearly drowning. Getting to the surface on his own will be impossible—he’s going to die and it’s Eraqus’s fault. Those are unbearable final thoughts.

One swipe of the keyblade severs the rope pulling Eraqus down and an aero spell propels him higher towards the motionless body. His own lungs are crying out for air but he’ll be useless if he blacks out now. Clinging tightly to the boy, Eraqus uses every ounce of energy he has to fight for the surface.

Air fills his lungs, signaling the half-won battle. He struggles not to panic while dragging both himself and the unresponsive Xehanort from the water.

“Xehanort! Hey, say something!” he demands, shaking the victim. “Wake up! WAKE UP!”

Nothing. Ignoring the fear that will only get in the way, Eraqus presses down on his chest. His own breath comes in drags, but for Xehanort, he ensures his chest rises.

_No! Not you too! We lost everyone else! Please not you too!_

Pretty soon, Eraqus has to rely on touch alone to continue, blinded by his tears.

~~~~~

Against his will, his body convulses. Water forces its way up, spilling across the ground and leaving Xehanort hacking through the pain.

“Oh my gods! You’re okay!” The gray sky above greets him just beyond Eraqus’s shoulder—they’re still here. There’s really no chance to process the fact though before the rescuer pulls away, glaring. “What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve died!” The anger doesn’t faze Xehanort, only reaffirms the things he’d been trying to put aside for so-called destiny. “You were this close to-”

“I love you.”

Those three words wipe the frustration clean. “What?”

Pushing off the ground, Xehanort sits up, his tears warmer than the rain. “I love you, you clown.” A fist wipes at his tears in an attempt keep together. “And you were just gonna disappear while I was gone? I was supposed to come back and find out you drowned yourself right after I left?” Behind his drenched hair, the guilty hides. “So instead of asking what the hell I was thinking, how about you ask yourself that?”

The response is pitiful stuttering. “I-I-”

“You what?” Xehanort knows what. “Think you’re not worth it? Think that nobody will miss you? What gives you the right to decide that for someone else?” The seeker reaches out, using a firm grip to force Eraqus to meet his gaze. There’s hardly a thing he wouldn’t give to wipe the grief and regret from those gray eyes, but for now, Xehanort means to get his point across. “You don’t get to decide what you mean to me.”

The cold, the rain, the uncomfortable feeling of being soaked, none of it matters the moment Xehanort drops his mouth onto Eraqus’s. Sure, he’s always been eloquent in his words, but in this moment, nothing he could say could better express the things he wanted Eraqus to know. Everything is poured into this connection, from his love to the fear he’d just experienced—all of it needs to show.

While drowning in affection is certainly better than drowning in water, Xehanort breaks the kiss. Puffs of hot air float away while they attempt to recover. The boy in black is first, leaning back and shoving the hair from the face of his beloved. His adrenaline is gone, now replaced with the relief of various things. Wearily, he smiles at the somber boy. “How dare you try to take that away from me.”

Eraqus’s lips twist and tears well in his eyes—that’s all the apology Xehanort needs. Prepared to wait out the sobbing, he pulls his mess of a loved one in and holds him tightly.

In the white noise of the rain, with intermittent sniffles from the boy in his arms, Xehanort re-evaluates all his choices. Maybe the worlds need him to leave—to summon Kingdom Hearts and break everything down to nothing—but Eraqus needs him here. He could logic with himself all day that destiny and the fate of all the worlds meant more than the relationship of two teenage boys, but it’ll be a long time before Xehanort forgets the sight of Eraqus sinking into the watery darkness. Just thinking about it makes it all so very clear: Xehanort would forsake everything if it meant he got to keep Eraqus in his life.

_The man in the black coat can find another scapegoat._


End file.
